home sweet home
Mood:  not sure
Now Playing: System Of A Down.....surprise surprise

well........

it's been a while.  too long.  i got back from NY on sunday after a two week stay with my mother.  what a disaster.....

 i swear, that woman is pure evil and unbelieveably psychotic.  the bitch just doesn't have the "mothering" qualities of a normal human being.  she's still wrapped up in her own world.  her shrink and me were talking about stuff, and i don't even know how it came about but the phrase, and i quote "[your step-father] fucked you".  no joke.  i couldn't believe it.  then, when i told my mother, she had NO reaction.  my father and grandmother's reaction was "WHAT?!?!".  mom's was just confused.  all she seemed to care about was what we were talking about when the shrink said it.  no anger, just a very calm, "what were you talking about?"  isn't it obvious?!?!  DAMN.

there is so much crap to go through from the last two weeks, but it ended with me telling her that i hope she died from being sick (in which she is).  so i feel just GREAT about that..........

my one big lesson from visiting back home:  PEOPLE DONT CHANGE.  not my old friends, for the good and the bad, and definately not my emotionally removed mother.

it makes me wonder if I have really changed, in which i thought i had.