what dreams are made of
Mood:  caffeinated
Now Playing: System........lol is that all i listen to now? switching to diana krall
so i had a dream the other night, that i was talking or biting down on my teeth......and all the sudden they all started to crumble and fall apart, like chalk. this could mean one of two things:

1~ i was just dreaming of what brittany was talking about, asking me if i've ever had problems with my teeth. luckily i haven't, i barely have had an cavities. although the dentist said all my enamel was wearing off and they put some new crap on

or

2~ im going to start having problems with my teeth. i tend to believe in dreams, that they have real meaning.

so now i really dont know what to do. i keep feeling that i should let someone in on how fucked up ive become, but then again........someone would know, lol. that's the best part about it all, having nobody in my life know. my own little secret, my own little world where everything only makes sense to me.

becoming sick and even dying are making themselves very prominant in my head. i can't stop thinking, "what if don't wake up tomorrow?" or "what if i have a heart attack", which is becoming more and more possible as each day goes by

im just stuck. with my weight, with my eating disorder, with life in general. i don't know what my next move is in anything anymore.