distress
Mood:  blue
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i feel like such a shit. i just had another dream about an old friend that i totally betrayed and i feel so horrible. crying and cutting started today's day. lots of fun.

i hate that i still might love him. not in love, just love. i never felt as close to anyone as him and i totally fucked it up. i can't forgive myself. i usually use him as a trigger......for everything. not eating, cutting, throwing up. everything. i know i fucked up.......... and i can't forgive myself, ever. im just such a horrible person....... dammit.