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Your Webmistress
Tuesday, August 9, 2005
clusterfucked
Mood:  irritated
Now Playing: nothing
oh man, i screwed up so bad last night. i ate. a lot. i dont know what happened, all the sudden it was like, binge city. im such an asshole.....

i checked my weight again this morning, as usual, and it said i gained like, 5 lbs!!! what the hell?!?! i gotta keep track of what im eating on this thing......dammit

Posted by Your Webmistress at 11:56 AM EDT
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Friday, August 5, 2005
oh happy day
Mood:  happy
Now Playing: diana krall- live in paris GET IT NOW!
i lost like, 10 lbs.!!!!!! HAHAHA! HOW YOU ASK?!?! BY NOT KEEPING ANYTHING DOWN!!!

:::sigh::: oh happy day

gotta call brit......been too long

anyhoo, im seeing a gastro guy to check on the throat and stomach. wish me luck......

went out today for my one and only meal. except for the yogurt the chiropractor made me eat, lol. so funny, wouldnt let me leave without eating. good people.

is there anything people want me to talk about?

Posted by Your Webmistress at 9:43 PM EDT
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Monday, August 1, 2005
coldplay rox my sox!
Mood:  caffeinated
Now Playing: coldplay!!!
such a good album they put out, x&y. i think a rush of blood to the head is still my fav. =)

caffiene rush!! only one pot so far, lol. its great with getting rid of unwanted cravings. and a great substitute for speed, lol.

what else......hmmm..... eh, i'll get deeper later

Posted by Your Webmistress at 10:30 AM EDT
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Sunday, July 31, 2005
drunken banter
Mood:  chillin'
Now Playing: OZZY!! Norah Jones
beep beep

im drunk

does anyone read this thing at all? let me know if you do, id appreciat it if i knew someone out there heard me! lol

fat fat fat Lisa, fat fat fat Lisa, la la la

im so scared for my girls, my6 cousins, theyre gonna develop an ED, one of the 2 or both. their mother, my aunt in law, is obsessed with weight and they always say that they're fat and they're 5 and 9! dammit......

maybe its genetic. i miss them so much. im in FL, theyre back in NY.

anyway, yeah, drunken. a little. i suck. i really do. sigh. oh, and brit, sorry i forgot to call last night!

Posted by Your Webmistress at 6:43 PM EDT
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Friday, July 29, 2005
distress
Mood:  blue
Now Playing: nothing
i feel like such a shit. i just had another dream about an old friend that i totally betrayed and i feel so horrible. crying and cutting started today's day. lots of fun.

i hate that i still might love him. not in love, just love. i never felt as close to anyone as him and i totally fucked it up. i can't forgive myself. i usually use him as a trigger......for everything. not eating, cutting, throwing up. everything. i know i fucked up.......... and i can't forgive myself, ever. im just such a horrible person....... dammit.

Posted by Your Webmistress at 4:48 PM EDT
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Saturday, July 23, 2005
too little
Mood:  chillin'
Now Playing: nothing
sorry i havent written in a while, or updated, ive just been real shitty lately, throwing up at everything..... ugh, i forgot about the goddamn zits you get when you do it a lot

anyway, today i ate some, thought id keep it down, but then i ate cookie and bye bye it went =)

fat girl.........

Posted by Your Webmistress at 7:42 PM EDT
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Tuesday, July 19, 2005
damn damn damn
Mood:  caffeinated
Now Playing: System Of A Down
its about 4:30 and im DYING for my wine. damn damn. alcoholism, here i come.

still havent had anything but gum and coffee today. i drank 2 pots, lol. definate caffiene rush, all jittery and shit.

let you know when i eat.......

Posted by Your Webmistress at 4:29 PM EDT
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so-so
Mood:  caffeinated
Now Playing: Celia Cruz
yesterday was ok, i guess. im guessing 500 cals and 20 grams of fat.....ok, that's bad, nevermind.....

the coffee helps the cravings a lot

coffee now.

Posted by Your Webmistress at 11:37 AM EDT
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Sunday, July 17, 2005
a good day
Now Playing: System Of A Down
OMG OMG OMG!!! I had SUCH a great day yesterday. I only ate tuna and veggies, nothing else!! A nice clean 250 calories and like....one gram of fat. ::Sigh:: I'm so proud. I haven't had a good day like that in a while. Usually the binges are hard to fight off, the weed doesnt help, lol. Munchies munchies munchies.

Well, here goes another day of caffeine and other assorted drugs. Wish me luck!

Posted by Your Webmistress at 9:13 AM EDT
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Friday, July 15, 2005
another rainy day
Mood:  don't ask
Now Playing: nothing
just purged twice in the last half hour and it took so much out of me. im wiped. i just want to sleep now.

i ate tortilla chips and some mac and cheese, low fat. got rid of it anyway. although not all of it, i think. i couldnt do it after a while. either there was nothing left or i didnt drink enough with it.

sigh.

i promise ill do more on the site, but tomorrow.

Posted by Your Webmistress at 7:57 PM EDT
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