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Your Webmistress
Tuesday, July 19, 2005
damn damn damn
Mood:  caffeinated
Now Playing: System Of A Down
its about 4:30 and im DYING for my wine. damn damn. alcoholism, here i come.

still havent had anything but gum and coffee today. i drank 2 pots, lol. definate caffiene rush, all jittery and shit.

let you know when i eat.......

Posted by Your Webmistress at 4:29 PM EDT
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so-so
Mood:  caffeinated
Now Playing: Celia Cruz
yesterday was ok, i guess. im guessing 500 cals and 20 grams of fat.....ok, that's bad, nevermind.....

the coffee helps the cravings a lot

coffee now.

Posted by Your Webmistress at 11:37 AM EDT
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Sunday, July 17, 2005
a good day
Now Playing: System Of A Down
OMG OMG OMG!!! I had SUCH a great day yesterday. I only ate tuna and veggies, nothing else!! A nice clean 250 calories and like....one gram of fat. ::Sigh:: I'm so proud. I haven't had a good day like that in a while. Usually the binges are hard to fight off, the weed doesnt help, lol. Munchies munchies munchies.

Well, here goes another day of caffeine and other assorted drugs. Wish me luck!

Posted by Your Webmistress at 9:13 AM EDT
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Friday, July 15, 2005
another rainy day
Mood:  don't ask
Now Playing: nothing
just purged twice in the last half hour and it took so much out of me. im wiped. i just want to sleep now.

i ate tortilla chips and some mac and cheese, low fat. got rid of it anyway. although not all of it, i think. i couldnt do it after a while. either there was nothing left or i didnt drink enough with it.

sigh.

i promise ill do more on the site, but tomorrow.

Posted by Your Webmistress at 7:57 PM EDT
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sins to confess
Now Playing: nothing
well. im an idiot. i ate a bunch of peanuts yesterday and i feel like crying now. dammit dammit dammit.

i made up these little pages to keep track of my food. i gotta punch holes in them and put it together in a binder, this is getting rediculous. fat stupid bitch.

ugh.

i miss my old site. this one's ok.

Posted by Your Webmistress at 10:41 AM EDT
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Thursday, July 14, 2005
rainy Thursday
Mood:  chillin'
Now Playing: nothing
the weather is horrible, its this damn hurricane!!

no substancial meals today. about 200 cals of crap. mints, smarties. bad lisa!

im wiped.......i need a DRINK!! AAAHHH!!!

i think im turning into an alcoholic. yay.....

Posted by Your Webmistress at 4:15 PM EDT
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Wednesday, July 13, 2005
rainy Wednesday
Now Playing: nothing
so i purged. surprise surprise.

on nothing really. only 200 calories or so. i just felt so nauseus. it was horrible.

so, no calories. YAY!!

wine now.

Posted by Your Webmistress at 6:35 PM EDT
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nothing to do
Now Playing: nothing
blah. i feel so crappy. im nauseus (sp?) all the time.......
water and 2 mints so far today. i got fat free pretzles, hopefully they'll settle my stomach.

atleast i have an excuse not to eat, lol.

anyhoo.....im beginning to love my ED again. makes me feel so nice and safe and in CONTROL.....aaaahhhh.......the best drug, lol

well, maybe not the best. but its certainly up there with the booze. that always helps with cravings. wine.

Posted by Your Webmistress at 12:47 PM EDT
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Tuesday, July 12, 2005
regrets
Mood:  blue
Now Playing: nothing
i had food. all 600 calories and got knows how many grams of fat. 20? 25? ugh.

well, that didnt stay long.

i knew id blow it. of coarse. lets hope the shame keeps me from eating more.
it usually will.

Posted by Your Webmistress at 10:06 PM EDT
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i feel.....like sh**.......
Now Playing: Norah Jones
as i said. im exhausted, probably from lack of food. which in a sick way makes me feel good.

proud even.

i wish i didnt wanna binge......ever. it makes me feel like such a whore. a big fat one.

binging sucks ass. dammit. i really want to.

anyway, nothing but wine and a peppermint today. i only woke up an hour or so ago. ive been sleeping so damn much. i think im sick, like, physically sick. a cold or something. yay phlegm!

:::sigh::: goodnight ....zzzzzz........

Posted by Your Webmistress at 7:47 PM EDT
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